Ernest BorgNINE

1.
Al-Zarqawi Blamed for Spike in Iraq Deaths
"Booger' blamed for spike in punch.
2.
Burned Qurans Left at Va. Muslim Center
Where they will be taken better care of.
3.
Schiavo Autopsy Fails to Sway Parents
Half-sized brain a family trait.
4.
Defense: Killen was Klansman but not involved in 1964 murders
Prosecution: Killin' is exactly what was involved.
5.
Forest Service Ending Some Recreation Fees
Those for recreational logging and mining.
6.
House Ready to Give Pentagon $45B for Wars
Any wars it wants.
7.
Future Giant Laser Threatened by Cuts
From current medium-sized laser.
8.
Calif. Scientists Plan to Kill Barred Owls
Wait a minute.... those aren't scientists!
9.
Exercise boosts sex life in men with heart failure
Up to a point.