Thursdeights

1. Border Troubles Divide U.S., States
Border itself divides countries, states, counties, provinces, autonomous regions, you name it.
2. Two Chicago Cops Charged With Battery
Keep on going and going....
3. Barnes & Noble Profit Rises 55 Percent
Praying that JK Rowling will release another Harry Potter in the 3rd quarter.
4. New Vehicle Roof Crush Standard Expected
Would render most action finales of A-Team moot.
5. Fiddling in Feakle: Irish music is cool in Clare
Fiddling with fecal: not cool anywhere.
6. Israeli Forces Storm Gaza Strip Synagogue
On days off storm Gaza strip club.
7. 'Best Of' Albums Not So Great These Days
Sentimental fog obscures fact that greatest hits albums have almost always sucked.
8. LeBron: I Never Authorized Documentary
'I never even touched that bitch.'