Today's Ten

1. Bush says education is path to democracy
Bush's latest speech opens new front in the war on irony.
2. Roethlisberger still a question mark
After spending the weekend reenacting punctuation at a United Way function.
3. Milky Way's Formation Theory Questioned
Not thorough enough to explain nougat.
4. Unfinished Tolkien work to be published
Involves more use of eagles for almost everything.
5. Man leaves package at Supreme Court
Suspicious man dressed entirely in brown.
6. Shark that walks on fins is discovered
Lord help us all.
7. OPEC casts a dark eye on the greening of energy
The eye, lidless and wreathed in flame.
8. Belden®’s New Space-Efficient 10GX IDC System Enhances Belden IBDN System 10GX®
About fucking time.
9. Experts see slow obesity fight for kids
Fat kids not able to do anything fast.
10. Man may have sent 2 billion spam e-mails
Now undergoing treatment for carpal tunnel.