See You 8er Allig8er

1. Cass County man dies after cow rams him
People: 552,636,940 Cows: 1
2. No charges against dad who shared drug that killed son
Shared his drugs with cops, as well.
3. A cyber tour of the Arts
Watch "Terminator 2," followed by ST:TNG's "Measure of a Man."
4. Hungry mob attacks Haiti palace
King Candy of Candyland Breathes Sigh of Relief
5. Who dares wins?
Those Who Has Tri-Force, That's Who!
6. Former Corporate Executive to Run Red Cross
Five Percent of Accident Victims to Get 85% of the Blood
7. Pelosi: Reduce number of superdelegates
Unfortunately, Statement is Overheard by NOMAD
8. Woods Favored, but Others Like Their Chances
Especially if Betting Money on Woods