Weighting for the weekend

1. Jobs slashed, pointing to recession
Apple CEO left bloody by Treasury Secretary Paulson.
2. Some superdelegates more super than rest
Democratic party includes most of Justice League.
3. Officials serve warrants at Jeffs' ranch
Breaking with tradition of Jeff serving buffalo wings.
4. Pilotless drones to battle pot growers
So fear the pot smokers.
5. Kopitar lifts Kings past Sharks
The kingdom is saved!!! Thank you Kopitar!
6. Tancock sets record in 50 backstroke
This time left handed and indoors.
7. Students to Take Command of Saturn Probe
Plan to fly it to Uranus.
8. Fossilized poop reveals earliest inhabitants of US: study
Remains also found of curious 'floating bone'.