6 Little Piggies

1. Mass. Gov. Office Gets Suspicious Letter
Cursive capital "Q." Everyone is, like, "What the hell is THIS?"

2. Chechen Warlord Always Brazen -- but Never Caught
Little power ball richocets off his red, "L"-shaped fortress.

3. CIA May Have Held 100 'Ghost' Prisoners
Made Casper, Nearly Headless Nick, "Ghost Dad" make nude pyramid.

4. U.S. Targets 3 Iraqi Cities
Ahead of clean water and suppression of violence, we offer them "cheap chic," affordable storage.

5. Vikings fans hop on LRT bandwagon
It has a better defense.

6. Titans, Dolphins trying to replace star runners
Conducting secret canteena meetings with Han Solo, mysterious fellow known as "Lone Star"