Gimme Five!

1. Homes still off-limits
A defiant 'Hammer' still declares 'you can't touch this'

2. Priest Fined $15G in Conn. Insurance Scam
He had inside knowledge with respect to impending "Acts of God"

3. Frances' Remnants Wash Out Parts of N.C.
T.P. Washes Remnants out of Frances' Pants

4. Festival Raises Millions for Mental Health
Unfortunately, money raised all imaginary money, "space bucks," flattened pieces of 'Starburst' fruit chews

5. Tony Danza Ready to Go With New Talk Show
First episode will feature visit by Angelra Landsbury, visit from this guy from the zoo.