The Decathlon Club

Separated Twins May Walk by Christmas
Into the extended arms of Hanukah

Blast Topples Conn. Church; No One Hurt
Ancient vengeful god's aim a little rusty

European Countries May Dump Small Coins
Won't say where - be vigilant

Chicago Mayor Unveils Surveillance Plan
Will be testing it first in women's bathroom

Aide: Bush Faith Has Been Misunderstood
Love of Old Testament means he's more Jewish than Christian

Zawahiri tape authentic: CIA
Includes full remake of classic Beach Boys album Pet Sounds

Some Lexmark, Dell Printers May Present Electrical Hazard
Hazard most easily avoided if never plugged in

Childbirth `changing in Canada,' study finds
Now performed outside wearing sweaters

Americans Say They're Careful About Diet
Careful not to eat own fingers in frenzy of gorging.

Research Finds Link Between Alcoholism, Depression
Study will fit nicely on shelf between studies linking alcoholism with vomiting and unprotected sex with ugly people