Eightless

Official: Russia Has Right to Hit Bases
In fact: touching all the bases mandatory

Actor Bids Fond Farewell to C-3PO
Won't miss time he was blown to bits and incorrectly reconstructed by actor playing Chewbacca

'Urinetown''s Hollmann and Kotis Play Hollmann and Kotis in New Kotis Play 'Eat the Taste'
What!? Taste urine?

Chiefs-Broncos Game Could Be Pivotal
With only 16 games left in the season, every game matters

Dolphins' Fiedler Not Happy About Benching
Prefers Universal machines to free weights

Edwards Visits N.C. Flooded by Hurricane
3 Hurricanes actually, and he could barely stand.

Bush Visits Embassy, Offers Condolences
Considered offering Condoleeza, but slavery was outlawed in 1865.

Scientists Recover Critical Genesis Parts
Fig leaves, apple core among them