I ate, and now I'm full

Fliers face tighter screening for explosives
Double jeopardy for fat terrorists.

Storms Force Investors to Weigh Insurers
Will finally know truth about insurance fat cats

Flooding Forces Evacuations in 3 States
National Enema Day a rousing success

Honolulu Residents Vote for Mayor
Used to have them hula for the position.

Naturalists Struggle to Save Iran Cheetahs
Just not fast enough.

U.S. Accuses U.N. of Dragging Feet Over Locusts
UN like the soft crunching sound.

Pelvic Exercises Treat Persistent Incontinence
Elvis known to have gone weeks without peeing.

Obese Man Drops More Than 370 Pounds
Crushes midget he didn't notice was standing next to him.