Late night

Noah's Cosmic Ark: Preserving DNA on the Moon
"One small 'gooooosh' for mankind."

Contractor's Bag Full of Explosives at JFK
Lucky for him he's already dead.

Lightning Hurts Football Players, Coaches
Especially the ones it strikes.

Teachers Lose Tax Breaks for Supplies
Forced to 'leave that paste behind'

All Australians accounted for in Iraq: Downer
Not if you're an Australian it's not

Gambling Linked to Good Health in Elderly
Good thing since have blown all Medicare premiums on $2 slots

Senior Democrat Seeks Probe of Ashcroft
Can't believe he's actually human

FEMA Gets 300,000 Hurricane Claims
6 of which were from Evansdale.