Ten little injuns

Lions Win First Away Game in Three Years
Despite being hampered by trees.

Siegfried, Roy inspire Shriver
Also inspire shivver.

Indian Software Boom on Track, Industry Head Says
Industry head says lots of things.

IBM's Open-Source Lovefest
The time: 1974. The place: IBM Headquarters. Boom chaka boom BOW.

Dutch Professor Gets Swedish Science Prize
On Ebay

Scientists Say Mauna Loa May Soon Erupt
Their model created using baking soda inside a dough-like volcano says so

Aluminum Can Kill Salmon River Parasites-Study
Can kill just about everything in large enough doses.

Spain Says Last Oil Sucked Out of Prestige Tanker
Spanish whores employed to ensure every last drop removed.

Many Women Get First Mammogram, Delay Further Ones
Having breast smashed by cold metal plate not all it was advertised

Hospital Halts Surgery to Separate German Twins
Not actually twins just unbelievably fucking fat