Nine Kings of Men

Hurricane Ivan Blasts Alabama, Kills 12
Mobile homes prove to be EXTREMELY mobile.

Randy Johnson Hits Strikeout Milestone
Considers changing pick-up line

U.S. Says New Images Show Iran Plans Nuke Bomb
"Hey! Aren't those the same pictures you said were mobile weapons labs?"

Germany's neo-Nazis change look to attract disgruntled voters
No self-respecting gruntled voter would come near them.

Ex-U.S. Official Charged With Concealment
Nude dress code at State Department regularly violated.

Mello Upsets Fish at Delray Beach
Much vomiting ensued.

Exercise, Diet Cut Diabetes Risk in Sedentary Men
No shit.

Parents Don't Regret Talking About Death
Really sucks the fun out of holidays however.

U.S. to Pay for Brain Scans to Diagnose Alzheimer's
Starting with Republican presidents.