The bell tolls 10

1.
U.S. Soldier Gets 8 Years for Iraq Jail Abuse
Irony meted out in full measure.
2.
Rescuers Find Eight More Calif. Hikers
Laying in a pile surrounded by woefully insufficient gear.
3.
Jobless, Factory Index Signal Growth
Of robot army.
4.
Martin Welcomes Resources Investment by China
Particularly encouraged by growth of sweatband industry.
5.
Probe into Labrador crash leaves widow, survivors fearful of more accidents
Lovable pooch takes Marmaduke to a whole new level.
6.
Fiji Troops May Grow U.N. Presence in Iraq
Though Fugees would provide higher number, if asked.
7.
Astronaut to Meet Baby Daughter on Return to Earth
Been away 11 months.
8.
Interferon Injections May Improve Penile Curvature
Allows users to have sex around corners.
9.
GOP plays terrorism card in ad against Dave Ross
GOP deck only has one card.
10.
Moran Seeks More Than Reelection
Really wants a Slurpee.