Blovi 8

1.
Olsen Twin Can't Avoid Media Spotlight
Too scrawny to cast a shadow.
2.
Gay Marriage Plays Quiet Role in Mass.
Unless you live in the apartment next door.
3.
Convicted Ore. Cave Looter Faces Charges
Apartment filled with both stalagtites AND stalagmites.
4.
Kidnappers Seize Charity Chief in Baghdad
Apache Chief distraught. Unable to muster strength to say eenokchok.
5.
Tennessee's Johnson Suspended for Gun
Gun suspended from johnson.
6.
Bush Blames Defect for Flu Shot Shortage
Blames sun for heat.
7.
Scientist Envisions Small-Scale Hydropower
Plan to harness the power of Mighty Tom's unintentional spitting.
8.
Slow-Breathing Device Helps Lower Blood Pressure
Makes you want to bury yourself in mud at the bottom of the nearest stream.