A bitter, post-election 6

1. A Line Forms to Check Out Clinton Library
Mysterious mass-mailing informed residents of Cuyahoga County, OH that was location of their polling place.

2. Church struggles with change
May take some time to come to terms with new placement alongside Executive, Judicial, Congressional branches of government.

3. Kerry's Votes Key to Bush Win, Rove Says
"For you see," he says, "we drove truckloads of them into the Gulf of Mexico and Lake Erie.

4. Poll: Voters Relieved by Decisive Election
In fact, 55 million Americans relieved of their right to have representation for next 4 years.

5. Specter Vows Fairness for Bush Nominees
Ghostly apparition threatens horrid wilting touch upon any who don't play by the rule.

6. Idaho Residents Seek Compensation for Nuclear Tests
69% Bush? Fuck em.