Sevenelection

1.
Presidential Election Handed Off to Voters
Like a flaming turd.
2.
Fla. Secretary of State Endures Skepticism
In fact, encourages it.
3.
U.S. Short at Least 500,000 Poll Workers
Despite huge supply of elderly.
4.
Cheneys vote in Wyoming
Fog of dread surrounds them, wilting flowers, spooking livestock.
5.
Networks Vow Not to Make Hasty Calls Tonight
Will content themselves with dramatic music, alarming graphics.
6.
In Exulting Bush Throngs, Just a Little Bit of Anxiety
Might just be the thongs.
7.
Doctors Give Edwards Their Seal of Excellent Health
Enjoy giving him proctological exam.