EIGHT night headlines

1. Japan Confirms Meeting With Chinese Leader
Rest of world claims to have known that, but then sheepishly confesses that it may have thought Japan was meeting with just some other Japanese guy

2. Moussaoui Pleads Guilty in 9/11 Conspiracy
Admits to plotting Pentagon crash hoax

3. Contraceptive Sponge to Return to Market
What market really needs is sponge that is used for cleaning up a few minutes AFTER the contraceptive.

4. Florida Readies Sex Offender Bill
Go get em, Bill!

5. Sex offender disrupts his own community notification forum
Runs self out of town on rail

6. Basketball assistant leaves Oregon after 10 seasons
Guy with moustache leaves Kentucky after 10 seasons.

7. Texas Police Arrest Ex-Con in 3 Slayings
Apparently traveled backwards in time to commit the crime

8. Mars Rover Makes Movies of Dust Devils
Movies that inspire dreams within legions of Dirt Devils