Headlines

All The News That's Fit to Mock

Friday, April 29, 2005

The Unforgotten

1.
Workers Charged in Driver License Scam
Caustic pair reputably gave favors for cigarettes.
2.
Cerberus in deal for Daimler unit

3.
Bayer optimistic after strong first quarter
Plan to insert second quarter before time elapses.
4.
Rice Calls for Acceleration of Democracy
Vows to step down, along with all of Bush administration
5.
East Timor, Australia Make Breakthrough on Gas Dispute
Conclude that one who smelled it, dealt it.
6.
Highlights of Bush's Press Conference
"Goodnight".
7.
Negroponte Takes Over Daily Bush Briefings
Laura continues with duty of debriefing.
8.
Scientists Find T. Rex Relative in Georgia
Living a quiet life in the suburbs of Atlanta.
9.
Kenyan Women Take Risks with Backstreet Abortions
Popular music group tries out new subsidiary in third world.
10.
New Sleeping Pill Promises Long-Term Results
Common side effects include death.

2 Comments:

At 10:09 AM, Blogger Dan weighs in with...

3 & 10 the best. 2 simply missing.

 
At 10:12 AM, Blogger Pat weighs in with...

Oops - planned to return to that one.

 

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