Together we make ten

1.
Mistakes Plague Tenn. Medical Examiner
Trouble discerning elbow from asshole.
2.
Town Repeals Ban on Speedo-Style Suits
Instead bans fat people with poor fashion sense.
3.
Stocks Rise as Oil Falls, Microsoft Helps
Always eager, Clippy notes, 'looks like your having an economic downturn.'
4.
Pope Makes First Window Appearance
Declares 'You have mail!'
5.
Coalition Forms To Protect Cookies
Insatiable appetite of so-called 'Cookie Monster' threatens global supplies.
6.
School Mistakes Huge Burrito for a Weapon
Discovered to be no immediate threat, but may regret returning burrito to owner.