The 3 Tenors

1. Thousands Mark Srebrenica Massacre Date
A day to commemorate teacher's attempted pronounciation of Maria Srebrenica's name on her first day of West High Western Cultures class.

2. Wildfire Threatens 750 Buildings in Colo.
Firefighters urged to stop counting buildings, start forming water brigade.

3. Srebrenica's Scars May Never Fade
Recitation on name on classroom attendance started, stopped in failure, and begun again four tmes until a complete, 5-second version was uttered, with an absurdly loud and drawn out "'NI-CA" at the very end.

4. Students will race solar-powered car
I'm betting $50 on the students.

5. Event will have bikers riding the Range -
Members of Bruce Hornsby's former backup band know they've hit rock bottom as they are jeered and tormented by a group of skinny, florescent neoprene-wearing, helmeted freaks.

6. Kobe Bryant back in Nike ads (AP)
Hawking new shoe, the Rapier.

7. Roberts signs with Grizzlies (AP)
As team doctor. Many Trailblazers now requesting trade.

8. Two Planes Collide in Del.; Pilot Killed
Other pilot being question under suspicion of being Superman, The Thing, or The Vampire Lestat.

9. Men Face Trial in Ga. Sheriff's Slaying
Sherriff Little finally ripped the doors off the wrong car.

10. Gov't Expands Energy Conservation Program
Energy-consuming photosynthesis down nearly 200%