Pictures at Eleven (relocated)

1. All 309 Survive Plane Crash in Toronto
'They'll be no movie of the week here.'
2. Astronaut to Employ Ingenuity in Repair
Prepared for latest flight by watching episodes of MacGuyver and A-Team, now available on DVD.
3. Roberts Insists He'll Respect Precedent
Did he say president?
4. Frist Not Invited to 'Justice Sunday II'
Unevolved lack capacity to turn other cheek where stem cells concerned.
5. Blasts at Mexico Cockfight Kill Four
Poetic justice never smelled so fowl.
6. Bonds' Teammates Adjusting to His Absence
No longer hording the steroids.
7. Bush Reiterates Stem Cell Study Position
He's against them.
8. U.S. Moves Against 3 Tied to Terror Group
3 urge US to notice who their tied to.
9. State Dept. Issues Global Terror Caution
"RUN FOR THE HILLS!"
10. Heat, Humidity in Midwest, Mid-Atlantic
Would have never known it was August otherwise.
11. Relief Operations Under Way in India
Palaak paneer finally moved through system.