Elevened Bread

1. Congress Rushes Hurricane Aid to Bush
Bush uses aid to buy a new mountain bike, spruce upthe ranch.
2. Laser Claims To Zap Away Urge To Light Up
Newfound blindness makes you wish you were dead.
3. Fats Domino Apparently Rescued by Boat
Big boat.
4. Explosions Fill New Orleans Sky With Smoke
Trashcan Man doing his thing.
5. Blair urged to press China on Tibet
Tibet already given most of its seat to fat China.
6. Mexico's Fox Gives Last State-Of-Nation
All Mexicans have entered into a suicide pact.
7. U.S. Envoy Says Venezuela Drug Talks Start
'Senor, want some pot?'
8. Hong Kong Jury Convicts American Woman
Said get away-ay.
9. Hastert Questions Rebuilding New Orleans
Offers to rebuild it in Illinois.
10. Katrina Reignites Global Warming Debate
Republicans claim god wants us to be comfortable.
11. FEMA Head: Lawlessness Not Anticipated
Donald Rumsfeld: it's a free country, people are allowed to loot.