Retalieightion

1. German, Polish Leaders Mark Start of WWII
They've been hanging out with that Japanese soldier from Gilligan's Island

2. Papua New Guinea Police Said to Beat Kids
Disgraceful turn for recreational basketball team inevitable result of hiring new chief, T-Clog.

3. Iraq conducts first executions since Saddam ouster
Yet another sign of the promised, emerging US-styled democracy.

4. New Stamps Recall Civil Rights Struggle
Jackie Robinson from heaven: Please, no more stamps

5. EU must push Serbia, Croatia on suspects-Del Ponte
EU must push pear halves in light syrup-Del Monte

6. Bush warns against looting, gas profiteering
Then offers, as an aside to various members of administration: Present company excluded, of course.

7. Gulf relief force swells
As do reflief forces Bush sends in for Shell, DuPont.

8. EU clears GM oilseed rape for use in animal feed
GM Oilseed Rape also, coincidentally, the name of new Chevy SUV