Just can't get enough

1.Three dead, two hurt in Denny's shooting
And that was just from him falling.
2.Phil Collins, Wife Announce Separation
Tired of him living in 1986 too.
3.Democrats Slam Revised Gay-Clearance Rules
Requiring the use of a ten foot pole simply outrageous.
4. Witness Describes Prison Gang Killings
To anyone willing to listen.
5. Bishops Bend Rules for St. Patrick's Day
No age of consent for Leprechauns.
6. Male drivers waste six million hours a year
Masturbating.
7. Dutch Immigrants Must Watch Racy Film
Sign me up.
8.Paleontologists Ponder Feather Evolution
Start tickle fight.
9. Animations Reveal How Dinosaurs Might Have Walked
And how cave men cars were people powered.
10. Depressed Elderly Need Ongoing Care
More Matlock.