Pick up six

1. Nigeria deputy remains in charge
Charles Mbeki Utombo seized power nearly a week ago.
2. Turkey officers in 'coup' charges
Turkeys recently seen muscling in on chicken territory.
3. Jayson Williams gets 5 years in fatal NJ shooting
Anticipating starting spot on prison hoops team.
4.Sheen takes break from 'Two and a Half Men'
Two and a Half Men continues years long break from comedy.
5. Caravaggio stands alone in new Rome exhibit
Giving him just enough time for a silent fart.
6. Quietly, Mercury moves up in fuel economy
Getting more miles out of winged feet per draught of ambrosia.
7. Elusive Dark Matter May Be Hidden on Earth
In my pants.