Eight

1. Palestinians strike over lost pay -
Lose more pay.

2. Al-Qaeda calls on US to convert
US goes for extra point, just for spite.

3. 14 UK troops die in Afghan crash
Could have been far worse, had they crashed into something without plush, 3/4" pile.

4. Tehran assures Annan on Lebanon
Then delivers flowers for Algernon.

5. Asian pilgrims shot dead in Iraq
Killers, looking back through trail of plowed sand extending back through the desert, still confess a certain admiration for the voyage of the Asian Santa Maria.

6. Bush Prepares for Heart of Campaign Season
Following vacation and heart of last campaign season.

7. Nuclear row on Kofi Annan's plate in Iran
He picks up a fork anyway, deciding it's still probably better than the fucking yaprakh.

8. Throwing fireballs: Festival in El Salvador
Home of the xvarts.