The Full Monty

1.Bob Dole defends McCain from critics
Surprisingly effective despite limited use of left hand.
2. McCain already sounds like GOP nominee
Oddly, as if he were speaking from 1985.
3. Bloomberg in no rush to '08 decision
Vows to be moderate in everything.
4. Next president could come from Senate
Headline writer makes preposterously bold prediction.
5. Romney campaigns throughout the night
With stops in American Samoa, Afghanistan and Iraq.
6. Huckabee wins all 18 W.Va. delegates
Pretty much wrapping up the hayseed vote.
7. Chad rebels threaten new attack
Few things spark terror like an army of Chads.
8. U.S. says no one too young for Guantanamo court
Reiterates belief that terrorism begins at conception.
9. Warner Dumps HD DVD
Superbowl swag for former MVP just doesn't fit his Christian lifestyle.
10. Embryos created with DNA from 3 people
All three scored well in Field of 64.