Slow news day

1. 4 years after disbanding, Phish to reunite
Legions of stoned fans look up briefly, continue on with bong.
2. Train engineer texted 22 seconds before LA crash
"Oh shit :("
3. Bush signs sprawling spending bill
Using Texas-sized pen
4. Skull of Prehistoric Giant Goose with Teeth Found
Would have had you for Christmas dinner, bitch!
5. Obesity not linked to poor semen quality
Just limits possibility for ejaculation.