Enough

1.
2. Black bear busts secret Utah pot farm
Local Boy Scout camp disavows rumors of training bear.
3. Disgraced sprinter Marion Jones freed from prison
Too disgraced even for prison.
4. McCain and Obama campaigns grapple for 'change'
Each hoping to buy 44oz Slurpee.
5. Rice, Gadhafi meet in house US bombed 22 years ago
"So this is where the sofa was...."
6. Americans get to know once-obscure Alaska governor
Joining short but auspicious list of obscure Alaskan governors.
7. Condemned man's hearing moved to before execution
Judge gives up advocacy of non-linear time theory.
8. Harper to call election for Oct 14
Much more effective with trumpeter, bugler.
9. Boston's (and baseball's) eyes turn to Beckett
Archbishop of Canterbury 1162. He had an amazing knuckleball.
10. Obama sends supporters to blunt Palin's impact
Republicans surge towards gate screaming something like 'Grond'.
11. Attacks, praise stretch truth at GOP convention
And there was little else.

Just six

1. Palin introducing herself; GOP blasts questions
Questions of all sorts, on every topic. The only answers come from god.
2. S. Korea says N. Korea has started nuclear work
At unconventional Asian Montessori school.
3. McCain hugs Palin upon his arrival in Twin Cities
All he was ever looking for with selection.
4. Cat survives 70-mile trip under owner's truck
Unlikely to use litter box ever again.
5. Consumers seen holding on to mobile phones longer
Years of constant use has made them sticky.
6. Heavily Hyped Spore Near Release With Big Expectations
Crew of Enterprise in danger.

Unlevened bread

1. New Orleans mayor: Please don't come home yet
Finishing back to back to back viewing of LOTR on your home theater.
2. Bush headlines lineup at GOP convention
Looking more and more like State Fair all the time.
3. Singer-actor Jerry Reed dies at the age of 71
Joins Fred, the beagle, on the convoy through eternity.
4. Lieberman, Thompson to boost McCain at convention
Bringing an enthusiasm level not seen since Perry Como.
5. Tiger Woods' wife expecting another child
Tiger keeping himself busy while he recovers from knee surgery.
6. McCain says Palin's background thoroughly checked
Statement followed by wink, glance at rear of veep prospect.
7. Superdome operator: stadium looks good
Like giant white boob.
8. Obama's bounce smaller than others
Blames white mother.
9. McCain More Likely to Drop Palin, Bookmakers Say
Arm strength never the same after years in captivity.
10. Astronaut named head of Canadian Space Agency
Finally supplanting popular hockey coach.
11. Whales shedding blubber, Japan study says
Atkins diet program finally translated.