Over time

1. 2008 buzz fills the halls of Congress
Republicans formerly drunk on power, Democrats just drunk.
2. Schwarzenegger misses inaugural kickoff
Austrian upbringing left him unprepared for the antics of Lucy van Pelt.
3. Bush looking at global warming ideas
Likes it hot.
4. U.S. death sentences drop to 30-year low
Bush no longer Governor of TX.
5. Icy weather hits nation's midsection
Nation not prepared for frozen balls.
6. U.S. Embassy in Athens Is Attacked by Marxist Group
Cigars and mustaches gave them away.
7. Beckham set to lift soccer's U.S. image
Posh to appear nude during all home games.
8. Barry Bonds comes to teammate's defense
Attacker no match for steroid rage.
9. Missing tubby tabby returned to owner
Demands lasagna.
10.Diet May Hold Key To Reversing Diabetes
Also key to avoiding it altogether.

Seven Headlines for Early 2007

Rare public appearance by Japan's royal family
Felt appearance might soften blow of suffering stocka market

Ex-Joint Chiefs chairman: Military ready for gays
We've done our research and greased our poles: Get er done!

Report: Giuliani campaign info leaked
Replay 911 Speech over and over and over and over


Plane reported missing, found, missing again
"She's a slippery one," reports aviation expert Henderson

SUV crashes through store wall, hits clerk
Clerk fights back by raising gas prices


Bowl player wins, proposes to cheerleader
Cheerleader did not recognize player