Tense.

1. Clay Aiken reads, sings to Pa. kids
Yearns to return to state fair circuit.
2. Water Pipe Break Closes Local Best Buy Store
Corporate GIS Analyst caught unawares - lacks appropriate symbol for map.
3. 3 Killed, 4 Hurt In Strip Club Shooting
Luckily, only patrons involved.
4. Rumsfeld home after surprise Iraq trip
Wife demands to know where gunpowder on collar came from.
5. Pa. teen fatally shoots self at school
See #1 above.
6. Christmas trees return to SeaTac airport
Like those to Birnam Wood.
7. Witness: I have no idea why I told police that debutante's killers were white
Doesn't even know what debutante means.
8. Malaysia's MEASAT launches 3rd satellite
Burundi MeatSat still stalled due to resource shortage.
9.Small nuclear war could lead to cooldown
Giving Bush the opening he was waiting for.
10. Mideast may save Dead Sea with Red Sea
Includes plan to save Red Sea with Mediterranean Sea.

Sunday Sports Recap Nine

1. Big play lifts Bills over Jets 31-13 (AP)
19 point conversion
2. Blazers win without suspended Randolph (AP)
If they can win WITH suspended Randolph, of course, the real question.
3. Iverson's destination remains unknown
He would be well advised to pull over, crack the windows of his Escalade, and let the smoke disappate a bit.
4. Miami blanks Pats; Brady sacked 4 times
Inspirational backyard visit by Joe Namath for naught
5. White helps UNLV beat No.20 Nevada 58-49
That it was UNLV and No. 20 Nevada really only secondary.
6. No. 7 Duke rolls past George Mason 69-53
Sets record with 48th consecutive non-conference home game.
7. Coach K pushing young Duke
Bob Knight hitting young Texas Tech
8. Dungy's quest is for a Super Bowl ring
Dungy, Parcells, Belichick, in fact, for Super Bowl Rings. Mike Holmgren's, Andy Reid's quests are for Onion Rings.
9. Elam says he'll play; Wilson not so sure
Wilson standing right behind Elam with upraised ball-peen hammer.