Whaaaa?

1. Drug/booze-laced snack brings arrest
Hydrogenated vegetable oil and Blue Lake-laden snack brings cardiac arrest.

2. Used-CD Shops Criticize Resale Laws
As well as marijuana criminalization laws.

3. Clinton outlines broad economic vision
Other candidates propose men's ideas.

4. Oil May Allow Sudan to Escape Sanctions’ Pain
By allowing for a greasy, slippery getaway.

5. Overbooking, Bumped Fliers and No Plan B
Venereal diseases for financial planners.

6. Bush chooses new World Bank boss
Thrusts thumb at own chest, demands "...a piece of his action."

7. Greenland whale plan deadlocked
Jamaican whale plan dreadlocked.
Paraguay whale plan landlocked.
German whale plan Goldilocked.
Swiss whale plan Cukoo Clocked.

8. Pakistan judge 'illegally held'
Judge left flushed and in tears as masked, moustachioed lover glides off into the night.

9. Death at Spector house 'homicide'
Ageless, undead Spectre pumps fists and mouths a silent "yes," while defendent glares at his worst attorney in the world.

10. Players union supports Pacman in appeal (AP)
Blame placed, instead, on Atari for turning a blind eye to performance-enhancing, so-called "power pills."