a sleeping giant

1. Burma's cyber-dissidents
Titanium exoskeletons much more resistant to batons, bullets

2. Dems choose between Yanks and Red Sox
GOP between Braves and Royals.

3. Pete Seeger's life story told on film
Almost as riveting as 'Art Garfunkel's Walk Accross America.'

4. Navy to Mask Swastika Look of Barracks in California
Miscommunication with warden results in issuing of guard uniforms with masks, swastikas

5. Rice chairs climate change talks
Rice promotes warming, which will lead to increased water levels, more paddies.

6. Assisted suicide fear 'unfounded'
Unassisted suicide imminent.

7. UK returns stolen cash to Nigeria
Millions of Yahoo! mail users get rich quick as the fruits of their faith in desparate plea from Nigerian Prince finally come to fruition.

8

1.Pirates name Huntington general manager (AP)
Yargh! Hopefully not so scurvy as the old dog.
2. Amazon spins up digital music store (AP)
Old time metaphor's days really numbered.
3. Terror center on alert 24/7
Terror never sleeps!
4. UK: 3rd Case of Bluetongue Confirmed
Seem to be linked to consumption of similarly colored popsicles.
5. Springsteen gives fans preview of tour
Puts on greatest hits album, sweats a lot.
6. Feds announce largest steroid crackdown
Unnaturally large, in fact.
7. Episcopalians try to prevent split
Force cheerleader's legs together.
8. Peru trade pact clears major hurdle in Congress
Big, fat Dennis Hastert (R-IL).