Tentation

1.Retailers post sluggish sales in March
Poorly paid retail staff just not feeling it.
2. FBI spent years looking for threat maker
Mentos commercials kept throwing them off track.
3. Mexican Congress occupied
Regret decision to include only one bathroom in building plans.
4. High school seniors get 'F' in finance
But leave out second N.
5. New Bra Makes Backless a Reality for the Busty
With that much front, who cares about the back!
6. Cheney, others OK'd harsh interrogations
OK, pretty much just Cheney.
7. Scientists predict more floods, droughts
Previous predictions of ends of both seen as wildly optimistic.
8. First Korean astronaut docks with space station
Unexpectedly. Last seen floating outside with faced pressed to glass.
9. Venezuela, India sign joint venture in oil-gas-rich Orinoco
Hoping to cash in on the Orinoco Flow.
10. Why Beautiful Women Marry Less Attractive Men
The Sitcom's one remaining mystery.

See You 8er Allig8er

1. Cass County man dies after cow rams him
People: 552,636,940 Cows: 1
2. No charges against dad who shared drug that killed son
Shared his drugs with cops, as well.
3. A cyber tour of the Arts
Watch "Terminator 2," followed by ST:TNG's "Measure of a Man."
4. Hungry mob attacks Haiti palace
King Candy of Candyland Breathes Sigh of Relief
5. Who dares wins?
Those Who Has Tri-Force, That's Who!
6. Former Corporate Executive to Run Red Cross
Five Percent of Accident Victims to Get 85% of the Blood
7. Pelosi: Reduce number of superdelegates
Unfortunately, Statement is Overheard by NOMAD
8. Woods Favored, but Others Like Their Chances
Especially if Betting Money on Woods