1. UK PM delivers major party speech
"Over? Did you say over? Nothing is over until WE decide it is! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? HELL, NO!!!"
2. Toyota to recall 3.8M vehicles over floor mats
Allowing for easier access to the floor mats.
3. Biden commemorates Violence Against Women Act
Smackdown done by Apache Chief on Giganta and Cheeta perhaps only act of violence against women worth commemorating.
4. McCain tries to kill additional C-17 cargo jets
Hopefully this turns out better for him than the last time he took on jets
5. Obama's Olympic pitch draws GOP complaints
Can't possibly be worse than his All-Star pitch
6. Hitler's Skull? Test Casts Doubt On Soviet Artifact
Damned Soviets learned NOTHING by watching Indiana Jones
7. Bachmann is 'Miss November' in conservative calendar
Collective shudder from left 80% of US populace registers on USGS seismographs.
8. For cities, recession offers time to think long-term
For if selling off parkland to increase tax base is not a plan with long-term ramifications, I don't know what is