Novemberten

No more farm animals, Clooney says
Star to attempt dating human females, “I am going to just try it out”

Why the Droid won't save Motorola
Droids are easily captured and rendered inoperable, except for R2 units

Can scientists make a space elevator?
Yes.

Horses help heal heroes
And can drag them to safety due to extremely long genitalia

Bread-toting bird stalls atom-smasher
Keeps stealing fermions and bosons for nesting material

Climate pact ready by 2010?
El Nino to have showdown with The Doldrums; much will be decided

Palin plans low profile in Wisconsin
Muted, earth-tone foundation, single-twist pony tail, loose fitting pant with long-sleeve blouse, chest-flattening bodice, no earrings, and pair of slightly used tennis shoes

Landing a job like getting into Harvard
Except for the getting paid part.

Stolen '65 VW van found after 35 years
Case of Schlitz and two Queen albums still in useable condition

Going to the office in Second Life
Details of punishment deemed too harsh.