10

1.US military not told of Turkey bomb plan
Nor, in fact, was the turkey, who had much more to lose.
2. Congress to hold hearings on steroid use
Pallid, frail old men to hold bronze hulks to account.
3. Alice Walker placing lit papers at Emory
Lit papers disguising dog poop in hilarious prank.
4. Peter Jackson to produce `The Hobbit'
In rare combination of cloning and miniaturization.
5. Woman accused of groping mall Santa
Ho, ho, ho.
6. Housing construction hits 16-year low
Now every house in America looks alike.
7. Leno, O'Brien return without writers
Awkward silences to be played for laughs.
8. Bush to start video chats with Karzai
Hope to be BFF.
9. Judges given leeway in crack sentencing
'Breaking your mother's back' to be applied in only most extreme cases.
10. FEMA official fails to cut red tape
Novelty scissors still in warehouse in Memphis.