Hi-8-tus

1. Driver injures French protesters
Scott Driver. Painter hat donned dandied no match for length & brawn of
hobbledehoy Yankee swimmer.

2. First Over-Counter Diet Drug Passes Hurdle
The counter.

3. Rush to grab European net names
Everything in Lord of the Rings, Dante's Inferno, and all proper names in Revelations; followed by .eu, now off limits.

4. Decided or Not, Giuliani Charts a Path to 2008
Churning out "I was great during 9-11" bumper stickers like there's no tomorrow.

5. Alone and Broke, Hamas Struggles to Rule
Recruits Waylon Jennings to write song about it.

6. Purdue extends coach Painter's contract (AP)
Only compensation will be for that which he can sell at local craft fairs.

7. Reggie Bush visits Texans in Houston (AP)
Gets elected.

8. Texas Official: Some Lucked Out With Fires
Those "Magma-Men," or other who happen to have molten cores.