Ernest Borg-nine

1. Plea possible today from dad accused of killing his 3 girls in River Falls
Only plea court is willing to hear at this point is "Kill me now"
2. Iran hosts the Non-Aligned Movement summit
Inviting mostly bears, pegusai, and druids
3. China, Wary of Arab Spring, Hosts Egypt's Morsi
Arab Spring a new Dove product reminiscent of Irish Spring, consisting of only an empty box
4. How could cannabis alter the teenage brain?
But more importantly, how could cannabis alter the 41 year-old brain?
5. It's time for some roster roulette

Here's to hoping it lands on black

6. Christie Gets His Time in Spotlight

Not only in spotlight, but extending about a half foot on either side of the spotlight

7. BM Pumps Up High-end Mainframe Speed, Capacity

Commodore stocks plunge

8. How will Christie lay out the party's vision?

With invective, spiteful language and a mocking tone, we can only assume.

9. Ann Romney recounts personal moment

Thereby dispelling the notion her husband never had one