Seasons Greetings

1.Daschle: Obama has 'unlimited potential'
Like Apache Chief.
2.In South Carolina, McCain seeks reversal
Been down there doing some 'wrastlin'.
3. White House defends skin cancer decision
Wants everyone to have it - weakens ozone laws to get there.
4. Van Hollen to run Democrats' fundraising
Van Helsing renominated to head Committee to Defeat Undead.
5. Vt. woman is an unlikely peace activist
Pretty much a total bitch to everyone she knows.
6. Shiites seek cease-fire from cleric
Hoping for some relief from relentless chain lightning attacks.
7. Popular gadgets may make painful Christmas presents
If used contrary to operating instructions.
8. Report says poor students shortchanged
Poor math skills make them easy targets.
9.Indexes little changed
Still happy in the back of the book.
10. Final 'Harry Potter' title announced
Harry Potter and the Ferocious Erection
11. Duran Duran enters 'new phase' without guitarist
The State Fair phase.
12. Struggling New Line looks ahead to December 2007
Releasing The Lord of the Rings: Appendix A
13. New era in PGA, old problem with Woods
Still black.
14. Judge: Farms not hurt by whale rules
"You see, whales are sea creatures. It's simple really."
15. Astronauts rewire half of space station
Even in space, contractors unable to complete a job.