Niner

1. Cypriots and U.N. soldiers in asparagus standoff
Fragrant urine a dead giveaway.
2. Grand Canyon celebrates 90th year as national park
Can barely remember previous 10 million years as simple canyon.
3. After White House, Bushes get bumpy start in private life
Doing even less apparently also hard work.
4. Dog, missing 9 years, returned to family in Ky.
Despite unwavering loyalty, secretly disappointed to be back with hillbillies.
5. 13,000-year-old tools unearthed at Colorado home
Home improvements remain incomplete.
6. Moon and Venus Converge Friday Night
World to end with nary a whimper.
7. Odd Life Found in Great Lakes
Mostly residents of Wisconsin.
8.Ryanair could make passengers pay for toilets
Passengers to begin urinating in place - be sure to check for wet spots.
9. Pensacola celebrates 450th birthday
Several original founders still live there.