Headlines

All The News That's Fit to Mock

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Se7en

1. Ancient Outburst of Milky Way's Black Hole Discovered
Mostly nougat.
2. Woman to be tried for stalking John Cusack
Claims to have only sought two dollars.
3. Put up or shut up, Spain's Iberdrola tell France's EDF
Andorra set for showdown.
4. Pacman to seek reinstatement again
Another quarter inserted.
5. Ex-Liverpool striker slams shambles at Anfield
Turns shambles into disaster.
6. Wal-Mart toughens gun policies
No longer just handing them out.
7. Long-lost article by Obama's dad surfaces
Mostly a long bitter tirade.